


ﾂ ᗯITᕼOᑌT YOᑌ ﾂ |̲M̲A̲R̲K̲H̲Y̲U̲C̲K̲|̲

by UwuSunshineMinho



Series: ﾂ ᗯITᕼOᑌT YOᑌ ﾂ |̲M̲A̲R̲K̲H̲Y̲U̲C̲K̲|̲ [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Bullying, Depression, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fluff, Heavy Angst, Homophobic Language, M/M, Physical Abuse, Social Anxiety, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:55:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24634168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UwuSunshineMinho/pseuds/UwuSunshineMinho
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Lee Taeyong, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Park Jisung/Zhong Chen Le
Series: ﾂ ᗯITᕼOᑌT YOᑌ ﾂ |̲M̲A̲R̲K̲H̲Y̲U̲C̲K̲|̲ [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1781107
Comments: 4
Kudos: 5





	1. ＣＨＡＲＡＣＴＥＲＳ　ヹ火ニ

**ＣＨＡＲＡＣＴＥＲＳ ヹ火ニ**

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**Lee Donghyuck**

**"I'll help you"**

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**Mark Lee**

**"I'm dead and gone"**

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**Lee Taeyong**

**"Try to help him"**

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**Kim Doyoung**

**"Is it just me or does it look like I don't give a fuck?"**

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**Huang Renjun**

**"I am different from the rest, I like two guys!"**

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**Lee Jeno**

**"I just really don't care"**

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**Na Jaemin**

**"Is it normal to like him but like the other as well?"**

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**Zhong Chenle**

**"C'mon look at his baby face!"**

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**Park Jisung**

**"I love him . . . way too much!"**

***ᴡɪᴛʜᴏᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ***

**"𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝 𝙮𝙤𝙪'𝙧𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙣, 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙜𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝 𝙞𝙩 𝙖𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙚"**

**𝙈𝙖𝙧𝙠 𝙇𝙚𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙤𝙨𝙩 𝙩𝙖𝙡𝙠𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣, 𝙄 𝙢𝙚𝙖𝙣 𝙬𝙝𝙮 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙝𝙚? 𝙃𝙚 𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙨 𝙖𝙗𝙪𝙨𝙚𝙙 𝙗𝙮 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙨, 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙨 𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙖𝙡𝙠 𝙩𝙤 𝙝𝙞𝙢 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙚𝙭𝙘𝙡𝙪𝙙𝙚 𝙝𝙞𝙢 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙚𝙨, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙝𝙚'𝙨 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙮 𝙢𝙪𝙘𝙝 𝙙𝙚𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙝𝙖𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙭𝙞𝙚𝙩𝙮. 𝘽𝙪𝙩, 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙇𝙚𝙚 𝘿𝙤𝙣𝙜𝙝𝙮𝙪𝙘𝙠 𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙣𝙚𝙬 𝙠𝙞𝙙 𝙖𝙩 𝙨𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙤𝙡, 𝙝𝙚 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙚𝙨 𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙦𝙪𝙞𝙚𝙩 𝙈𝙖𝙧𝙠 𝙞𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙝𝙚 𝙩𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙥 𝙝𝙞𝙢 𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙖𝙣, 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬𝙡𝙚𝙙𝙜𝙚 𝙝𝙚 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬𝙨.**

**"ɪ ᴡᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴛᴜʀɴ ᴍʏ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜ"**

**©𝒰𝒲𝒰𝒮𝒰𝒩𝒮𝐻𝐼𝒩𝐸𝑀𝐼𝒩𝐻𝒪**

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	2. ＰＬＡＹＬＩＳＴ　羽ギて

ＰＬＡＹＬＩＳＴ 羽ギて

**1) Without You: Breaking Benjamin**

**"𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦, 𝘐 𝘸𝘰𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘰𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥, 𝘥𝘳𝘢𝘨 𝘮𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯, 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘰𝘰"**

**2) Runnin': Adam Lambert**

**"𝘚𝘵𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘺 𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘯' 𝘭𝘪𝘱𝘴, 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴? 𝘖𝘯𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘴𝘬𝘦𝘺 𝘨𝘰𝘦𝘴 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯, 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯, 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯"**

**3) I Wanna Be Yours: Arctic Monkeys**

**"𝘔𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦 𝘐 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘣𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴"**

**4) Echo: Jason Walker**

**"𝘐'𝘮 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘥𝘨𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐'𝘮 𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘺 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦, 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘢 𝘧𝘰𝘰𝘭 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘶𝘯𝘨𝘴. 𝘚𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐 𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴 𝘐 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘐'𝘮 𝘢𝘭𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩"**

**5) Fix You: Coldplay**

**"𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘪𝘹 𝘺𝘰𝘶"**

**6) Won't Go Home Without You: Maroon 5**

**"𝘐 𝘸𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘨𝘰 𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶"**

**7) Burn The Pages: Sia**

**"𝘚𝘰 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺, 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘐'𝘮 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘣𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦"**

**8) Fire Meet Gasoline: Sia**

**"𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘣𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦, 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘦"**

**9) Leaving California: Maroon 5**

**"𝘌𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘯 𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘴 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘶𝘴, 𝘐 𝘸𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘨𝘰"**

**10) Talk Me Down: Troye Sivan**

**"𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘯𝘦𝘹𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘥𝘰 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘸, 𝘴𝘰 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘮𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯"**

**11) Happy Little Pill: Troye Sivan**

**"𝘖𝘩, 𝘨𝘭𝘢𝘻𝘦𝘥 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴, 𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘴. 𝘉𝘶𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘴. 𝘕𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘪𝘭𝘭. 𝘚𝘪𝘱𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘣𝘰𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘴. 𝘛𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘴𝘬𝘪𝘯, 𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺𝘨𝘶𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘴. 𝘎𝘶𝘤𝘤𝘪 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘦𝘷𝘢𝘳𝘥. 𝘊𝘰𝘤𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘦, 𝘥𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘢𝘳 𝘣𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘴."**

**12) Touch: Troye Sivan**

**"𝘚𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘺𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘮, 𝘮𝘺 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘰𝘭𝘭, 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘶𝘳𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘱𝘴, 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘦𝘤𝘭𝘪𝘱𝘴𝘦, 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘰𝘵𝘢𝘭 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘐, 𝘐 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘤𝘩"**

**13) Lips On You: Maroon 5**

**"𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐 𝘱𝘶𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘪𝘱𝘴 𝘰𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘐 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘷𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘦𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦"**

**14) Lost Stars: Maroon 5**

**"𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘴, 𝘵𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘶𝘱 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘬?"**

**15) Without You: Lana Del Rey**

**"𝘏𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘰? 𝘏𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘰? 𝘊-𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘮𝘦? 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘣𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘢 𝘥𝘰𝘭𝘭, 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭."**

**16) Ride: Lana Del Rey**

**"𝘋𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘸, 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥-𝘣𝘺𝘦, 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯 𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥, 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘩 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘳𝘺"**

****


	3. 하나

**하나**

**"𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦, 𝘐 𝘸𝘰𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘰𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥, 𝘥𝘳𝘢𝘨 𝘮𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯, 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘰𝘰"**

**Mark's P.O.V**

**"Where are you, you little shit?" I heard my dad call, as he was searching through my room looking for me, as I was hiding under my bed. I put my hand over my mouth trying to muffle out my sobs. I don't know what I did this time. I guess I just decided to exist. I don't know why they decided to have me, if they were just going to treat me like this.**

**"Have you found the fag, yet?" I hear my mom ask, and I whimper through my hand, my mom. I love my mom. My mom loved me. I don't know what happened. Mommy, why did you have to do this?**

**"No. I haven't. The little shit, is somewhere though." Dad answered, and I felt myself getting panicky a little**

**"Have you checked under the bed? The little shit, used to love hiding under there when he was little." Mom told Dad, and I felt my heart start to beat quickly. No. No. No, please don't find me here.**

**I saw my dad's shoes come in front of the side of the bed, and I felt my breathing start to quicken. Please don't find me. Please don't look under here! I then saw my father's face and he smirked so evilly, and I felt my heart just shoot down to my stomach. No. Please. No.**

**"There you are." He says so sickening, and I tried to crawl away from him through the other side of the bed, but I saw my mother on the other side, and she looked so pissed off, and I widened my eyes**

**"C'mere you little shit." Dad says, as I felt my leg being grabbed and he started to pull me back to the other side**

**"No! Please! Mom, help me!" I called out for my mother, as I was pulled back through the other side. She didn't even spare me a glance, as she watched me be pulled back. Dad already had his belt ready, and I had put my hands over my head, feeling the tears leave my eyes, as I felt the stinging pain hit me multiple times. When he was finished hitting me multiple times, he grabbed me up by the back of my shirt, and he punched me straight in the face, and I felt my lip that was now healing from the last time, just split up -- great.**

**After Dad got a few good hits in, blood was dripping from my mouth, and I felt my eye just throb in pain. Dad walked out with bloody knuckles and I see Mom just standing there at my door, with her arms crossed, and I felt more tears leave my eyes**

**"M-mom." I cried and she looked like she didn't really care about how I was feeling right now**

**"I'm not your mother." She says to me, and I felt my heart just break into pieces**

**"N-no, no, no. Please, don't say that to me." I begged, now in front of her, grabbing on to her hands, trying to get right back into her heart, because I just want my mother back.**

**"I wouldn't raise a faggot." She says, and she pushed me off of her, and I felt my body hit the floor, feeling more tears leave my eyes**

**"Get ready for school you little shit." She tells me before she walks out of the room, and I just wrapped my arms around myself and I just sobbed my broken heart out**

**"Mommy, please come back." I cry like a little child. My mother was my whole world. She was the one I looked up to the most. She would always hold me when I'm scared or sad. Or how she would always sing me to sleep when there was always a storm outside. But when I turned sixteen, last year, something happened. I don't know what happened. I just decided to come out to my parents, because they were the ones I trusted the most. But that was the worst decision I've ever made. I still remember the moment, like it was yesterday. Dad was really pissed, when I told them I was gay. Mom was just looking really disgusted. I've never seen my parents ever have the looks of. . . hate in their eyes. I don't know what happened, but I just want my happy family back. Please. I don't think I can go on like this forever.**

**ツツツ**

**"Jeez, Mark, you look like shit, are you okay?" Doyoung asked me the first thing when I reached my locker. Doyoung has always been my locker mate since freshman year. He's also been in every class since kindergarten. I guess, you can call us friends. I don't know. I don't really have that many friends. I mean I do have friends, but they're not any better from my parents.**

**"Y-yeah, I'm fine." I answered him, my voice raspy, from all the crying I did like ten minutes before, that I had to clear my throat, "I just fell. I'm okay." I continued in a small and quiet voice and Doyoung smiled softly**

**"You should be more careful, Mark." Doyoung says and he ruffled my hair, and I flinched from the contact, and he took notice of that, and he took his hand away from my head, and lowered it slowly, and he frowned**

**"Mark, are you sure you're okay?" Doyoung asked me in a caring tone, and I nodded**

**"Y-yeah." I whispered and I closed my locker, and I walked away leaving Doyoung looking confused and worried -- but really mostly confused**

**ツツツ**

**I walked inside my class, feeling just so over it, and school hasn't even really started yet. I make my way to my seat at the back of the classroom. I sit by myself. I mean, who would want to sit next to someone who doesn't talk, who also has anxiety, socially awkward, and someone who flinches everytime you get too close or you're too loud. I sighed, and I sat down, and I took out my stuff, and I began to do some doodles on a piece of paper.**

**"Alright, hi class." I hear my teacher, Mrs Han greet, and I sigh sadly -- I don't want to be in this class. Mrs Han always tries to call on me to answer the questions, and when I tell her I don't know, she gives me a disappointing look, before she calls on another student.**

**No one in the class really greeted her. Have I mentioned that, no one likes her? She's just really mean to people. She puts people on the spot and she pressures them to answer. But, I'm just her normal target. I know she's just trying to make me talk more, but I can't. I'm scared that if I talk and say the wrong thing, then she's going to yell at me.**

**"Alright. Well, before we get started on today's lesson, I wanted to announce that we have a new student." She says, and I groaned softly. There are no other places for the person to sit -- then next to me. Why did this class just have to get another student? I'm just so fine with being alone. No one can hurt me when I'm alone.**

**"Everyone meet, Lee Donghyuck." The teacher says and I hear everyone go**

**"Whoa~~~"**

**What the heck? I took my face off my doodles on my paper, and I looked up to see what they were so amazed about, and I was shocked. The boy had this beautiful dark purple hair, beautiful golden tan skin, he had this awesome style of clothes, and he had the prettiest smile ever. This boy was beautiful. Wow.**

**"Donghyuck, you wanna tell anything about yourself?" Mrs. Han asked the boy and he nodded with a smile on his face**

**"Hi, my name is Lee Donghyuck -- as you really couldn't tell --" that caused people to laugh, and that caused him to giggle softly "-- but the thing I could only really tell about myself is that I love to sing." He continued and I was shocked, he loves to sing?**

**"That's great, Donghyuck." Mrs. Han says and he smiled softly**

**"Alright, as you can tell there aren't that many seats to choose from, so you're gonna have to sit next to Mark." Mrs. Han told him, and I put my head down on the desk -- no please, put him somewhere.**

**"That's fine." Donghyuck says so sweetly**

**"Okay." Mrs. Han says "Mark!" Mrs. Han called and I raised my head so fast, that I got a headache and got dizzy a little bit**

**"Someone didn't get that much sleep, last night." A student laughed and that caused everyone to laugh as well, and I just felt embarrassed**

**"You can go sit next to him." Mrs. Han smiled at him, and he nodded, and he walked over to the back of the room, and sat down in the seat next to me**

**"Hi! You must be Mark." Donghyuck greeted trying to shake hands with me, but I flinched back, and he frowned**

**"Oh . . . sorry." Donghyuck frowned and I felt bad for him. He's new, he should sit next to someone who is very sociable. But, sitting next to me, is the biggest mistake anyone could do.**

**"Alright, class, take out your materials, it's time to start the lesson." Mrs. Han says and I sighed -- here goes one hour of hell.**

**A/N**

**Here's chapter 1 of my brand new series!!**

**Okay, I know what you're thinking: Raelee for the love of god, stop making stories**

**But I can't haha!!**

**But this story is going to be put on a special schedule like every Monday but a week after when Get Out Alive is supposed to be updated but it's not going to be updated this week, so this story is going to take it's place for this week. I'll do three chapters of this story every other Monday, but we're only going to one chapter today. One chapter is coming tomorrow. Then the third chapter Thursday.**

**Alright this story will involve: HEAVY HEAVY HEAVY ANGST, MODERATE FLUFF, ABUSE, DEPRESSION, ANXIETY, HOMOPHOBIC WORDS, ALCOHOL USE, & DRUG USE**

**DON'T BE A SILENT READER, SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS!!!**

**[RAELEE]**


	4. 둘

**둘**

**"𝘚𝘵𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘺 𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘯' 𝘭𝘪𝘱𝘴, 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴? 𝘖𝘯𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘴𝘬𝘦𝘺 𝘨𝘰𝘦𝘴 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯, 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯, 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯"**

**Mark’s P.O.V**

***LUNCH***

**I was sitting at the table, with my so-called friends. I really wish, I can just drop them, because they’re really no different from my parents. They ignore me. They insult me. Make fun of me. They leave me out of activities. I wish I could just drop them. But, I can’t. Because I’m too scared. I don’t talk that much. Besides, that means I would be alone. I don’t like being alone. That’s why I’m with these so-called friends.**

**“Hey, did you see the new kid? Oh my god, he’s so fucking hot.” Chanmi says -- Chanmi, is the only girl in this group of friends, and she’s known to have sex with a bunch of guys. She’s like the love em’ and leave em’ kind of girl.**

**“Chanmi, if you haven’t noticed, that guy is so out of your league. You might as well have sex with Mark.” Taehyuck says and Chanmi gagged**

**“Eww, gross. I would never. That's one guy I wouldn’t ever fuck even if I had a gun trained to my head.” Chanmi groaned and I was just poking at my food, not really feeling hungry anymore**

**“Guys, can you stop hating on Mark?” Lex asked and I looked up with this hopeful look on my face -- is someone is going to be sticking up for me?**

**“I want some of the hate action too.” Lex laughed and I slump my shoulders down -- yeah right. Why did I think that someone was going to stick up for me? God, Mark, you’re such an idiot.**

**I stood up and that caused them to look over at me. Oh god, please don’t.**

**“Where are you going, Markie?” Sehoon asked me and I just stayed silent. My mom used to call me Markie. I loved it when she called me that. I loved that nickname. Now, she just calls me faggot.**

**“Oh, I forgot, he’s mute.” Sehoon joked and I gulped -- how can they just joke about these things?**

**“Whatever, go ahead and leave, this table doesn’t need a disease.” Lex says and I just felt my heart crack a little bit. Now that one hurt. Is it because I’m gay? Wow.**

**I walked away from the table, and I began to walk down the aisle of the cafeteria, and I felt everyone’s eyes on me. I felt my heart start to speed up a little bit. I hate when the eyes are on me. I hate the attention. I put my head down and I continued to walk, not noticing that someone was about to trip me. I tripped over the person’s leg, and I was about to fall, and before my face could come into contact with the ground, I felt myself being caught.**

**I was shocked. Why would someone catch me? No one in this school really cared for me. No one has cared about me since freshman year. I looked up to the person, and I saw it was Donghyuck. The new kid. Oh god, Chanmi, is so going to be mad at me for this. I’m totally waiting for him to just drop me, but he didn’t. He helped me back on the ground. His touch felt weird. I can still feel it lingering. But in a different kind of way.**

**“Are you okay?” Donghyuck asked me and I looked down at the ground, silent. I hope he doesn’t take offense to this. I just can’t use my voice well. I know I talked to Doyoung earlier today, but it’s because I trust him. I don’t know Donghyuck. I can’t trust him.**

**“Oh . . . you must be very quiet. I also remembered you flinched back from me this morning. I’m sorry for overstepping my boundaries. But, I couldn’t watch someone fall to the ground.” Donghyuck said to me in this nice voice, and he smiled softly, and he walked back over to his table, and my eyes followed him.**

**I saw he had sat down at the table where Doyoung had sat in. Doyoung and his boyfriend Taeyong had made these group of friends, Renjun, Jeno, Jaemin, Chenle, and Jisung, to sit at their table. I guess they added Donghyuck to the mix. I wish they would add me. But, I’ll understand if Doyoung doesn’t. I mean, I’m too quiet. Who likes the quiet one? If I talk people think I’m being rude, because of the way I talk to them. If I’m quiet, people think I’m rude, because they think I’m ignoring them and have bad manners. I can’t win here. No matter what I do, it’s not enough for them.**

**I then just remembered that I was in the middle of the cafeteria, with people staring right at me, so I just put my hood over my head, and I made my way out of the cafeteria at a fast pace.**

**Donghyuck’s P.O.V**

**“Is he always that quiet?” I ask my newly found friends, and they sighed and nodded -- wait, he is? Hmm, he’s kind of intriguing.**

**“Yeah. He’s really not that talkative, but it’s really weird because he was the loudest person I met when we were younger.” Doyoung says and now I was really intrigued about this guy.**

**“He had the biggest smile and the loudest laugh, and he was just the sweetest kid, but something happened, then all of a sudden he stopped laughing and smiling, and he would get quieter and quieter to the point he wouldn’t talk as much.” Taeyong states**

**“He sometimes talks to me, but it’s in such a quiet voice, that I don’t know if he’s even talking.” Doyoung announces and the other boys nodded**

**“Yeah. You’re his seatmate, and he flinched away from you. Don’t take it personal.” Renjun says and I nodded, and I sighed, What happened to this boy? What is the reason for him to act like this? Whatever it is, I can help him. I just hope he’ll let me help him. I can only hope. He looked like he was going to have a panic attack when I caught him from falling to the floor.**

**What’s your story Mark?**

**A/N**

**Here’s chapter 2!!!**

**I was supposed to have this chapter up yesterday, but I had started watching NCT Life and I got distracted by how cute Haechan is !!**

**Alrighty, chapter 3 will be up tomorrow instead of today, because I gotta get chapter 13 & 14 of Walk You Home and chapter 7 & 8 of Chaotic up today, so yeah!!**

**DON’T BE A SILENT READER, SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS!!!**

**[RAELEE]**


	5. 셋

**셋**

**"𝘔𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦 𝘐 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘣𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴"**

**Mark’s P.O.V**

**Man, I really need to get something to cover up these bruises. I got my daily beating from both of my parents, and they were worse today, than they were yesterday. I looked at myself in the mirror that was inside my locker, and I just looked horrible. I had real deep eyebags; as I didn’t get that much sleep, as I was terrified that my parents were just gonna murder me in my sleep. I had bruises all over my face; they were so bad, that you couldn’t tell it was me, that’s how bad they are. My lips are busted, and I just looked like someone who lived on the streets.**

**I close my locker, with a small sigh, and when I turn my head, I see Donghyuck standing right next to me, which causes me to jump back.**

**“Oh, sorry, did I scare you?” He asked me, and I just shook my head slightly**

**“Y-you didn’t.” I quietly say and I saw that his eyes brightened up**

**“You just spoke.” He said excitedly and I was really confused -- why is he so excited about that? I mean, I do talk some times. It’s not like I’m completely mute. But, it’s also because I don’t trust people enough to talk to them -- so why did I just speak to him?**

**“N-no I didn’t.” I muttered, and I walked away from him, leaving him confused probably, but I still don’t trust him . . . I just can’t.**

**Donghyuck’s P.O.V**

**He spoke to me. I don’t know why, but it just made me feel so giddy inside. I don’t know how to explain it, it just made me feel something. Sad he had to deny that he spoke to me, and then just walked off. He seems very intriguing, I don’t know what it is about him, he’s just so mysterious. Maybe, it’s because he’s very quiet and doesn’t talk.**

**I wanna get to know him. Whatever it takes, I want to get to know him.**

**ツツツ**

**Mark’s P.O.V**

**I can’t trust him. Lee Donghyuck. I just can’t. I want to, but I feel like he’ll just be nice to me, and then he’ll just turn on me, to humiliate me. That’s what everyone does. You can’t trust anyone. The world is way too cruel. People are nice one minute, then the next minute they’re evil. I hate this world, so much. I just want to die, because I hate it so much. Also because everyone will be happy if I’m gone. My parents would be lifted from a burden.**

**Why can’t I just be happy like all these people that walk past me?**

**I want a happy household. I want loving parents. I want friends. I want someone to love. Why can’t I have any of those things? Does the world hate me that much? Am I really that bad?**

**“Hey Mark!” I hear a voice call my name, and I freeze up a little because I got so scared about the loud tone of the voice**

**I turned to the owner of the voice, and I saw it was Renjun, one of Doyoung’s friends. Oh god. Is he a mean person that will hurt me? I hope not. I don’t need that from Doyoung’s friends, I get that a lot from my “friends”**

**“Y-yes?” I stuttered out in a small voice**

**“Doyoung, was wondering if you wanted to hang out after school today, with our friends.” Renjun suggested and I was surprised**

**_Doyoung wants to hang out with me?_ ** **I thought**

**I never thought that he would hang out with me. Hmm, my parents won’t be home for a few hours, when school gets out, so maybe I could hang out with them for a couple of hours. Just to see how they’re like. I’m not saying that I’m going to be friends with them. . . just want to see how they act.**

**“Y-yeah, sure.” I say softly and Renjun nods and smiled softly**

**“Alright, well Doyoung will text you the place we’re going to be at on campus, so we all can walk out together, after school.” Renjun smiled and I nodded slightly, while fiddling with my fingers, with my head lowered to the ground, so I wasn’t looking Renjun in the eye. My parents always make me look them in the eye and I hate it. I can see the evil looks they have. I can see the hatred they have for me. I just hate it.**

**“Okay.” I mumble**

**“Well, I’ll see you later.” Renjun says and I nodded and we both walked off going our separate ways. Oh god, I wonder how this is going to go. I just hope it doesn’t turn out bad. I can only hope and pray.**

**ツツツ**

**Renjun’s P.O.V**

**I walked over to my friends, who were waiting for an answer. Doyoung and Taeyong (mostly Doyoung) suggested that Mark should hang out with us, after school, and I thought it was a good idea, because Mark is quiet, and I think he’s quite lonely. I see the way his “friends” treat him. They treat him like garbage, and it makes me want to fucking murder all of them.**

**“Well?” Donghyuck asked, getting very anxious -- which makes me wonder if this was for Doyoung or Donghyuck. I think it’s cute that Donghyuck has a little crush on someone he just met. But it’s not like I relate to him.**

**I like two people. Yeah, that’s right. You heard it. I like two people at the same time. I like Jeno . . . and Jaemin. I started liking Jeno ever since middle school -- seventh grade -- and I thought nothing could ever come into my life and make me like them. Until Na Jaemin. I started liking Jaemin ever since Sophomore year -- tenth grade. I’m a senior now.**

**I wish I could tell them both that I like them. But I’m too scared to do so.**

**When I look at Chenle and Jisung -- the two Junior students of our group -- I want what they have with Jaemin and Jeno. Chenle and Jisung have this cute relationship. They’re very clingy with each other. They complement each other. They give each other small and gentle kisses on the nose, cheeks, temple, and the lips.**

**I’m just jealous.**

**“Renjun!” I hear a voice bring me out of my thoughts, and I looked up to see that the voice came from Jaemin and I felt my heart just skip a beat**

**“Y-yeah?” I stutter out**

**“What is the answer?” Jeno asked and I straighten up my posture and I cleared my throat**

**“Oh -- uh . . . he said yes.” I say**

**“Wow, I’m surprised he actually said yes; usually he says no, when I ask him.” Doyoung commented and I shrugged**

**“Well, he said yes this time.” I replied**

**“I’m excited to hang out with him.” Donghyuck says with a bubbly tone and smiling and Taeyong chuckled**

**“Don’t get your hopes up, Hyuck. Mark still might not talk to you.” Taeyong reassured and Donghyuck shook his head**

**“No, but he actually talked to me this morning.” Donghyuck gushed and we were all shocked -- holy shit, he actually spoke to him?**

**“Wait -- you’re saying that he spoke to you?” Chenle asked and Donghyuck nodded proudly**

**“He spoke to me not once but twice.” Donghyuck says proudly and then slumped down slightly**

**“It was in a quiet voice though.” He states**

**“Donghyuck, you really can’t expect Mark to be all happy and bubbly the third time he sees you. Mark has trust issues, so if he doesn’t use his normal voice -- he doesn’t really trust you that much. But he actually never uses his normal voice with me. So I really don’t know.” Doyoung explained and I sighed**

**I really hope Mark trusts us. He needs some real friends.**

**A/N**

**Here’s chapter 3!!!**

**Sorry for the lack of updates with this story -- but I’ve probably said this like five million times in all the chapters I’ve updated this week -- I had stomach problems two weeks ago, and I get distracted easily so yeah haha**

**But I will write the hang out in the next chapter because I’m the author and I want to haha**

**It will take Markhyuck a while before they get really close sooo it won’t happen like right away**

**DON’T BE A SILENT READER, SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS!!!**

**[RAELEE]**


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